


Storm Coming (SKET Dance)

by TheRainRogue



Category: SKET Dance
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRainRogue/pseuds/TheRainRogue
Summary: Hello, and welcome to my new story. I decided to write this because of the lack of SKET Dance fanfiction and because this anime makes me super happy. Before we get started, I’d like to clear up a few things. First off, this series might get a bit heavy.
Relationships: Tsubaki Sasuke/Original Character
Kudos: 1
Collections: Anime, Series





	1. Introduction

Hello, and welcome to my new story. I decided to write this because of the lack of SKET Dance fanfiction and because this anime makes me super happy. Before we get started, I’d like to clear up a few things. First off, this series might get a bit heavy. A **warning** needs to be added as this series will revolve around the main character having an **anxiety disorder** and, with it, **depression**. There will be talks of **self-harm** and **suicidal thoughts** , but at this time, I have no plans of making the main character attempt suicide, just talks of it in her past. This series will be following the anime but I will do my best to make the main character more than just a sideshow to the main story.

I hope you will join me on this journey. I’m not good at finishing series, which is why I usually just do sets, but I would really like to do this. I hope if you decide to give this series a shot, you will take a moment to let me know what you thought, whether it’s about the plot, the word choice, or whatever. All comments help me to improve myself as a writer, so I appreciate anything you’re willing to offer me.

Side note: While I was working on the information for this video, a certain song came on my Spotify playlist at the time and it fit perfectly so I will be incorporating those lyrics into this series as best as I can. The song is “ **Hurricane** ” by **I Prevail** , and you can read the main lyrics that represent this series in the banner I’ve made – it’s at the bottom of this chapter and will be at the start of the other chapters from this point forward. Or maybe… maybe I will use the template and just add a SKET Dance character relevant to that chapter.

Let’s begin this journey!

xoxo Rain

* * *


	2. Eye of the Storm

_This series explores anxiety, depression, self-harm, and thoughts of suicide. Please read at your own risk._

* * *

The rain pelted the glass as it fell from the dark sky. Every few minutes, thunder would roar loud enough to shake the windows, making the dog bark his head off as if he had never heard thunder before. Every now and then, the clouds would break, showing off a velvet black sky.

I stared out the window, my chin propped up in the palm of my hand. I’m not sure why, but my anxiety has been going nuts all day. Something felt off, like something bad was going to happen. I honestly didn’t put much weight on that feeling, though, because it felt like that nearly every day of my life. Every day felt terrifying and I could only wonder if that would be the day I finally die.

“Samantha! Come here for a minute!” Mom shouted from down the hall.

With a sigh, I pushed away from the window and headed for her bedroom. She was sitting at her vanity table, removing the makeup from her face. She glanced at me in the mirror before waving with her hand. I set on the side of her bed. Chico, her beloved pit bull, was sprawled out on the bed, ears perked up as she stared at the window. It was like she was daring the thunder to come again. I’m ninety percent sure mom loves that damn dog more than she ever has me.

She spoils the damn thing, but what gets me the most is that she always talks softly and kindly to the dog, but when she talks to me, it’s snippy like she’s annoyed at the thought of just speaking to me.

“I wanted to talk to you,”

“I kinda figured that,” I muttered, absentmindedly playing with the loose string on my jeans.

“Don’t be a smartass,” she glared at me over her shoulder before turning back to the mirror.

My mom was a beautiful woman, with wavy blonde hair that flowed to her shoulders and fierce hazel eyes. She stood at five-feet-four and she was like a bottle of coke than mentos had been shoved into. She couldn’t stand people looking down on her and refused to be walked on. She always had something to say about people and I was honestly surprised she hadn’t been in a serious fight.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and it hasn’t been an easy decision for me to make, but I’ve made up my mind.”

My brow furrowed as my heart started to race in my chest. What is she talking about? A million thoughts entered my mind at once, each worse than the last. “Um, okay?”

“All you do is lay around watching videos and playing video games. You’ve already dropped out of school.” She scoffed, running a cloth over her cheek. “You can’t hold a job, either. I wake up, spend twelve hours at work, come home and feed Chico, get a couple hours of sleep and then go to my second job. You could help out around the house you know.”

I bit my tongue, body tensing. I wanted to say something so bad, but she never listened to what I had to say. It would only cause a pointless argument and god knows we have enough of those.

“You need a serious wake-up call, Samantha.” Mom turned around on the stool to face me. “I’ve decided that you’re going to go live with your father.”

“I… I’m sorry, _what_?” I could feel my anxiety rising, clawing at my insides like a hungry tiger.

She scowled. “I _said_ , you’re going to go live with your father. He lives in Japan, so you should be happy, right? You like that Aneyem stuff.”

“Why?” I breathed out. My body was starting to shake like I was standing out in the cold, but the house was warm.

She gave you an annoyed look. “What do you want from me, Samantha? You dropped out of school and refuse to go back to get your diploma – ”

“I didn’t refuse, I just – ”

She cut me off, standing up to pull out her nightclothes. “All you do is sit around playing games and watching that weird-ass Aneyem all day – ”

“I do more than just – ”

“You won’t even try to get a job!”

“I did try, they said – ”

“I’m honestly tired of dealing with you, Samantha. I just can’t do it anymore.” She huffed, putting her hands on her hips as she turned to look at you.

“So you’re just going to get rid of me?” I asked, softly, feeling tears pricking my eyes. This had to be a nightmare… right? I’m going to wake up soon, I have to…

“Don’t be dramatic, I’m not getting rid of you. I’m just – ”

“Sending me off to another country to live with a man I didn’t even know existed!” I cried, unable to hold back the tears. “You lied to me!”

“When did I lie?”

“You said you didn’t know who my father was!”

“Did I?” she turned her back to me, a sure sign that she was lying. “I didn’t remember at the time, probably. Either way, he’s your _father_ , not a stranger.”

“How can you be okay with this?” I asked in disbelief, trying to ignore the cold that was creeping up on my chest. I was close to a panic attack, I could feel it creeping at the back of my mind, lurking and waiting to pounce.

“Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy,” She huffed. “This isn’t nearly as bad as you’re trying to make it out to be.”

I scoffed, starting to feel angry at her words. “If you couldn’t deal with me then you shouldn’t have had me! I never asked to be born! I never asked to have this – this disorder! It’s not fair!”

“Samantha Rain!”

I fled the room, slamming the door behind me as hard as I could. I did the same to my own door, the wall shaking from the force. I barely made it to my bed before I broke down, tears streaming down my face. My chest was tight and it felt like my insides had just been shoved into a freezer. My heart hammered against my chest as if pleading to be set free. I could feel the prickling at the back of my skull – it felt like the grim reaper was leaning over my shoulder, his bony hand on my shoulder as he laughed in my ear.

I felt like I was going to die and I was terrified.

Why is this happening? Am I really such a bad child?

I thought about her words and the responses she refused to let me offer. I regret dropping out of school, but it’s not like she stopped me from doing so. Back then, I didn’t know what anxiety was or how it could affect someone. I thought I just didn’t fit in. A while it’s true that most of my time is spent with video games and anime because that’s what occupies my mind and stops the panic, I do try to help out as best as I can.

The thing is – mom is a perfectionist. No matter what I do, it’s not good enough for her standards. Whenever I do help out around the house, she just goes behind me complaining and redoing it the way she wants it. Eventually, I stopped trying. What’s the point if it’s never enough?

As soon as I turned fourteen, I got a job with my mom working at the local grocery store. I did my best, but the manager hated me because he didn’t think I could do the job properly because I was a girl. He would always pick on me and give me an attitude despite doing the best I could, but… ninety percent of that job I spent in the bathroom trying not to have a panic attack. It wasn’t my fault…

I tried again when I was fifteen, snagging a job at a clothing store. I was originally on the register, but I couldn’t remember how to work it and then I started to panic. I broke down within twenty minutes of my first day on the job. The manager was kind and understanding, and she moved me to the pricing team instead. It was hard, and I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, which I got scolded for, but I forced myself to endure.

The job was seasonal, though, and even though my other manager promised to keep me on, they stopped giving me hours until, finally, I got a letter saying I had been let go. It was around this time that I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

It was like a puzzle. I had all of these pieces but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get them to fit together, but then by some struck of luck, they all fell into place. Everything made sense – not fitting in, freaking out around people, breaking down, my mind going blank, and most importantly, feeling like I was going to die on a daily basis.

The thought of leaving the sanctity of the home I had lived my whole life scared me. The thought of moving in with a man I’ve never met scared me. I’ve spent seventeen years with my mother and I’m still not completely comfortable talking to her, how the hell am I supposed to survive with this man?

Just like mom, he’s going to take me in and realize how much of a loser I am, then he’s going to throw me away too. Will he send me back to mom? Would she even let me come back? Would this be the straw that broke the camels back and she finally decides to just kick me out? What the hell am I going to do?

I stared at the window through blurry eyes. Normally, the rain made me really happy and calmed me down. It was always so peaceful and I loved sitting outside during the rain, reading whatever book I had on hand at the time. But now… now it seemed like a death sentence.

Why do I have to be this way? Why do I have to be such a burden, such a useless child? Why couldn’t I just be normal…

I cried myself to sleep that night, dreaming of being lost and unable to find my mom.

* * *

Over the next week, I had done my best to try and get mom to reconsider her choice, but she wouldn’t budge. I tried bargaining, promising to stop playing so many games and to try harder around the house. I even promised to try and find another job, but her mind was made up and it wouldn’t be changed.

I sat in the airport, my leg bouncing rapidly. I held open a manga, but I found myself re-reading the same page a dozen times and still not knowing what was written. I couldn’t focus. Everything I heard someone speak or felt someone moving near, my heart would jump. Finally, I closed the book, letting my thumb slide across the fore-edge of the book repeatedly.

_Fwhp. Fwhp. Fwhp._

Mom’s hand shot out, grabbing mine. “Will you cut that out?” she hissed, rubbing her temple with her free hand. As if that would get rid of her hangover. Maybe she shouldn’t have stayed out so late with her friends knowing I had to be at the airport at eight the next morning.

I wondered if it was karma for sending me away.

I didn’t have the energy to scowl at her because I had been a nervous wreck all night, unable to sleep. I had multiple small panic attacks throughout the night, but I could only ignore them and wish them away. As the night had ticked by, I grew more and more tired, and the more tired I grew the worse my anxiety became but there was nothing I could do. I just had to lay there and take it.

Just like I have to sit here and let my mom send me away to a different country. I was completely helpless.

“ **Flight 340 to Tokyo, Japan is now boarding. Please proceed to gate G** ,”

“Finally,” mom muttered under her breath, standing up and motioning for me to do the same. “Let’s go, Samantha.”

“That’s not my name,” I muttered under my breath, but she either didn’t hear me or was too eager to get me on the plane to care. She probably just wanted to get home so she could sleep off the hangover. I hated being called Samantha and she knew it, but she refused to call me Sam or, hell, even my middle name would be fine.

I followed behind her, clutching the strap of my bag like my life depended on it. I kept my gaze on the floor, not wanting to see the hundreds of people shuffling back and forth trying to get to their flights. With every step, it felt like I was getting closer to my end. I pictured a pirate being shuffled towards a guillotine.

“Here we are,” Mom stopped near the gate, digging into her purse. “Here’s your passport and your ticket. Here’s my cell phone number, I know you don’t remember it. Did you bring your ID?”

I nodded, staring down at the ground. There was a dark stain near my foot, a mud-brown against the tan carpet. Was it soda? It made me think of Coke.

“Look at me, Samantha.”

I refused.

She sighed heavily before pulling me into a tight hug. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t try to pull away, my arms hanging limply at my sides. “Call me when you land, okay? This is a second chance for you, Samantha. Don’t waste it.”

Those words pissed me off and I forced myself away from her, stepping up to the back of the line. I could feel her gaze on me, but she didn’t come after me. I felt tears clouding my vision – tears of anger, tears of pain, tears of betrayal. The only thing keeping me going was the mental image of me breaking down and being stared at by all these people.

I quickly rubbed at my eyes, focusing on the person standing in front of me to try and distract my mind. She was an older woman, maybe around sixty or seventy, and she was a head shorter than me. She wore a tan and salmon dress, a white shawl draped over her shoulders. Her salt and pepper permed hair stuck out from underneath a salmon-colored boater hat. She was humming something softly and I found myself leaning closer, the sound calming my erratic nerves.

The flight attendant smiled at me, but I couldn’t tell if she was actually happy to be there or if she was faking it. “May I see your ticket, passport, and ID, please?”

I shakily handed them over. God, I probably look as nervous as I feel. What if they think I’m acting suspicious and detain me? What if they think I’m a terrorist or something?

But the woman didn’t seem to notice my anxiety as she handed them back with a smile. “Enjoy your flight, Miss!”

Not in a million years, I scoffed. This was my first time being on a plane and I didn’t know what to expect. As I walked down the long tunnel to the plane, it felt as if it stretched on forever. Would it end up being like in anime, when you can see the light at the end but no matter how far you run you just never reach it? My heart pulsed in my ears and my legs were starting to feel like jelly.

What if my legs give out and I fall, gaining everyone’s attention? The thought made me want to barf.

There was another flight attendant just inside the door. She also smiled. “May I see your ticket so I can direct you to your seat?”

I shakily handed her the ticket.

“Let’s see. Your seat is F20, that’s the second row after first class.” She handed the ticket back but I fumbled and dropped it.

“S-Sorry,” I quickly bent down to retrieve it before rushing down the aisles to my seat, repeating the same mantra in my head over and over – Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic.

My seat was the one by the window. The middle seat was empty, while the aisle seat held the older woman that had been standing in front of me in line.

As I tried to string together words, she stood up, stepping aside so I could get to my seat. She smiled warmly at me and I cursed myself for seeming rude. I quickly shoved my backpack in the cubby above the seats before sliding into the row and sitting down, folding my arms tightly.

She sat back down. “Is this your first flight, dear?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words refused to come. I made a strangled noise. Jesus, Sam, she’s going to think you’re a bitch. I closed my eyes tightly. “Y-Yeah,” my voice was low and I wondered if she heard me.

“Ah, I remember my first flight.” She looked up as if the memory was playing on the roof of the plane. “I was a bit younger than you, but I was also flying alone. It was quite a terrifying experience.” She glanced at me with a warm smile. “When the plane took off, I started to cry! The flight attendant tried to shush me, said I was disturbing the other passengers, but that just made me cry harder.”

I nodded my head to let her know I was listening, and I forced myself to glance at her every few words. Is it normal to lock eyes with someone when you talk to them? Is that considered rude or creepy? I had never been able to meet someone’s eye for more than a few seconds. Then again, I’m quite defective, aren’t I?

“There was this older man a few rows back. I imagine he was around my age now. He completely ignored the signs ordering the passengers to keep their seatbelts on and he came, taking the seat beside me. I only made it through the flight because of him. If I hadn’t calmed down, they were going to land the flight at the next available airport.”

I see. So she’s trying to pay forward his kindness by trying to make me feel more comfortable? I found myself smiling. “Um, may I – may I ask your name?”

“Of course you may,” she smiled, leaning forward so she could extend her hand toward me. “My name is Agatha Fletcher. And yours, dear?”

I took her thin hand in my own and I found myself scared to grip too hard. Her hand looked frail and the thought of hurting her was not something I wanted to do, but her grip on my own hand was firm. “Sam… my name is Sam.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sam.”

* * *


	3. A Second Chance?

* * *

The rest of the fifteen-hour flight was spent talking to Agatha – though she did most of the talking and I mainly just listened. She had a lot of stories to tell about the life she had led. The reason she was going to Japan was because her grandson was getting married, so she was flying out to be with her family. According to her, she and her late husband had moved to Florida so they could retire in a nice cabin by the beach.

Before I knew it, the seatbelt signs popped on and the plane started its descent. We were arriving at Tokyo International Airport. My heart leaped into my throat, but Agatha gently took my hand in hers, telling me that it would be okay and, for some reason, I believed her.

First-class was allowed to leave the plane first, and then it was our turn. I pulled both of our carry-on bags down from the overhead compartment, slinging my book bag over my shoulder and putting my arm through the straps of her purse. She wrapped her arm around mine, but I wasn’t sure if it was for her own sake or mine, and we headed off the plane and down the hallway.

“Is someone coming to pick you up, dear?” She asked, softly.

I nodded, digging into the pocket of my jeans, pulling out the photograph my mom had given me. It was an old picture, distorted by the passage of time and the number of times it had been folded into sections. Still, I could clearly make out the man’s tan face, framed by sandy blonde hair. He was looking off in the distance, a soft smile on his face.

I showed her the picture. “My… father,”

“My, how handsome. No wonder you’re so cute.” She gave me a smile like a grandmother would to her grandchild and it made me smile despite my rising anxiety levels.

Now that we were off the plane, my mind was beginning to run wild. What if he forgot I was coming to live with him? What if he didn’t show up? If he didn’t, I would be royally screwed. I have no money at all and, even if I did, it was American Dollars, not yen. No one would accept it. Would I have to stay at the airport? Would they even let me do that?

I know basic Japanese thanks to my love of anime, but I doubt I could properly explain my situation. I can barely explain myself in English…

I started to shake.

“It’s okay, dear.” Agatha took her arm away so she could wrap it around my back – she was too short to reach my shoulders. “From the short time that I’ve known you, I can tell that you are a strong young lady. You’ll get through whatever it is you’re going through, so try not to worry too much, okay? I believe in you, so please believe in yourself.”

Tears stung my eyes, but I did my best to hold them back, nodding. I didn’t fully believe her words, and I couldn’t promise that I would heed them, but it felt nice to have some encouragement when I’m struggling so much. I don’t think mom had ever believed in me before. It felt… warm. Agatha made me feel like everything really would be alright.

“Samantha?”

I looked over through teary eyes. Standing before us was a tall man, maybe six-foot-one, a bright smile on his lips as his emerald eyes met my own. His sandy blonde hair was longer than it was in the picture, pulled back into a low ponytail that rested against his upper back. His name was Kevin Reynolds, and he’s my father. God, that feels so strange to say.

“Are you okay?”

Agatha patted me on the arm and I nodded, quickly wiping away my tears. Way to make a first impression, Sam.

“Grandma!” A young man approached us, a young woman close behind. This must be the grandson she mentioned and his fiance. He smiled at me, brushing away the black hair from his eyes. “I hope my grandma didn’t cause you too much trouble. She loves her stories.”

“Ah, n-no, she didn’t…” I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

“Remember what I said.” She said warmly as she pulled away. I handed her purse to her grandson.

“Thank you, Agatha.”

She nodded at me before turning to Kevin. “You have a wonderful daughter,”

“Thank you very much!” He smiled proudly, bowing to her. She waved as her grandson led her away, chatting animatedly with her. Kevin turned back to me, his smile lighting up his face. “You must have really impressed her,”

I shifted awkwardly, nodding. Hell if I knew how. She had done most of the talking, after all.

“Let’s go get your luggage,” he started toward the right side of the Airport where the baggage claim was. I followed quietly behind him. “How was your flight? It was your first time, right?”

I nodded but realized he couldn’t see it since I was behind him. I cleared my throat. “Yes. It was – It was okay.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad you were able to find someone to keep your mind occupied.” He stood near the conveyer belt, “What does it look like?”

“Black duffle bag…”

“Ah, I see it!” He picked up the bag, checking the tag that had been tied to the handle. “Yup, this is it. Now let’s get you home, I bet you’re exhausted.”

Home… do I have such a place in my life? I have a house with a man I’ve just met here in Japan. I have a house with my mom back in Florida. But a home? I don’t think I’ve found that yet, and sometimes I wonder if I ever will.

I clutched the strap of my backpack. Everything I owned was stuffed into these two bags. Kevin seemed surprised that I didn’t have more luggage, but he didn’t comment on it. I followed him through the airport to the carpark across the street. He had managed to find a spot on the first level.

He drove a white Honda accord that looked like it had seen better days.

He smiled at me after sliding into the driver’s seat and me in the passenger. “My boss was kind enough to let me borrow his car to pick you up.”

I guess he doesn’t have his own car, then, not that it really matters. I stared out the window as he drove, watching the cityscape pass me by. Tokyo was a big city with a large population and that worried me. I glanced at Kevin. Had mom told him about my short-comings?

As if sensing my thoughts, he spoke up. “Alissa told me that you were kicked out of middle school because you stopped going. Is that true?”

My heart skipped a painful beat. Kicked out? Was that the official term for it? It’s true that I did stop going at the beginning of my last year.

“Your mom tends to exaggerate a lot.” he chuckled, keeping his eyes on the road. “I always take what she says with a grain of salt.”

Wait a minute… “Ha-Have you been in contact with her for long?”

“We talk a few times a year.” He shook his head and I noticed his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. “I can’t believe she never told me that we have a child together.”

“She… didn’t?” I felt my eyes widen at this new bit of information, and I dreaded his answer.

“Oh she did,” he scoffed. “Two weeks ago. And so casually too! She called me up and we were having a normal conversation, she drops the bomb that we have a kid together and nonchalantly asks me if I want to take you. She hasn’t changed a bit.”

Tears pricked my eyes as my hands clenched around my jeans. All this time, I thought my dad just didn’t want me. Mom always told me that she didn’t know who my dad was. She said, “It was just a one night stand.” Deep down, I knew she wasn’t being completely truthful with me, but I just assumed she was protecting me. I assumed my dad knew I existed but didn’t want anything to do with me. I assumed she was protecting me from getting hurt, but… why did she lie to me?

I don’t understand.

“O-Oi, why are you crying?” he questioned, worry lacing his voice. “I shouldn’t have talked about your mother like that, I’m sorry.”

I quickly shook my head. “N-No, it’s not that!” I cried, wiping furiously at my eyes. “I thought – I thought that you h-hated me…”

“What?” his voice was full of surprise. He pulled over into the closest fast-food parking lot before turning to me. “You’re my _daughter_ , Samantha. I could never hate you.”

Hearing that made me cry harder, my body shaking as I tried to control my emotions. His arm reached over, wrapping around my shoulders – it was… oddly comforting. He tugged me closer, hugging me as best as he could in the small confines of the cramped car.

“ _What has that woman done to you_?” he muttered under his breath. I was sure he didn’t intend for me to hear those words, so I chose not to comment on them.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, clutching his t-shirt.

I’m sorry for thinking bad of you.

I’m sorry for all of those horrible things I said about you.

I’m sorry for being a cry baby.

I’m sorry I can’t even voice these thoughts properly…

He patted my back, his voice soft and calm. “Don’t apologize, it’s okay. You’ll be okay, I promise.”

I didn’t believe his words, but I was comforted by them.

* * *

Kevin pulled up to a one-story house, parking the car out front. I stepped out, clutching my bags tightly as I squinted against the sun. It was just afternoon, so the sun was high in the sky, unblocked by any clouds.

Did he live alone? Or did he have a roommate or significant other?

He stopped beside me, putting his arm over my shoulder. “Welcome home, Samantha.”

“Um, Kevin?”

“Hm?”

“Do you… do you mind not calling me Samantha? I don’t really like my full name…”

“That’s no problem. Is Sam okay?”

I nodded, turning my attention to the house. A low stone wall surrounded it, connecting to a low black iron gate. The house was painted a soft cream color, accented by dark oak. On the left side was a low wooden porch leading to a sliding glass door.

Kevin headed for the front door, which sat directly in front of the gate. I followed him nervously.

The front door opened to a small entryway. On the right was a table with three drawers stacked on top of one another, atop which was a landline phone. On the left, pegs had been inserted into the wall to hold coats and hands. Beneath it was a shoe rack and an umbrella stand.

He took his shoes off, setting them in front of the small step up. I followed suit, glad I hadn’t worn socks that had holes in them.

“I’ll show you to your room, I bet you’re tired.” He smiled, turning down the hallway to the right. There was a door on either side of the hall and a door at the very end, which he led me toward. He turned the knob and pushed the door open. “It’s not much…” he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “But hopefully you can make it your own over time.”

I stepped past him into the room. The headboard of the double bed was pressed against the left wall, the sheets royal blue cotton. On the right side, under the window, was a simple wooden table with a lamp and a pen holder. Next to the door was a three drawer dresser. The walls were painted a soft, almost translucent blue, and a single painting of a tiger and dragon forming a yin-yang had been hung above the bed.

“Alissa said you like the color blue and you have a thing for tigers and dragons. We can get some more later, but I didn’t have a very big budget on such short notice.”

I forced a smile. “It’s… perfect. Thank you so much.” And I meant that. I was so grateful for the trouble he had gone to for me, but I also felt really guilty. He was practically stopping his own life to accommodate me and my needs. He was even giving up his hard-earned money for me… someone he had just met. “Kevin?”

“Yes?”

“Please… please don’t put yourself out on my account,” I mumbled, staring down at the tan carpet beneath my feet.

He chuckled, resting his land hand on my head. “I’m not put out in the least. You’re my daughter and it’s both my job and my joy to provide for you.” He glanced down at his watch. “I need to take the car back to my boss. Make yourself at home, okay?” He turned to walk away but suddenly stopped. “Let me give you my number just in case.”

I pulled my flip phone from my pocket, entering the number as he recited it.  
With that, he left the house.

I stared down at the name entry field on my phone. Should I save his number as ‘dad’ or ‘Kevin’? Now that I was thinking about it, I had only called him Kevin up until now. Did he feel offended by that? Should I start calling him dad? Would he even be okay with me calling him that? I frowned, choosing instead to add him as ‘Kevin (dad)’. Now I had _two_ contacts in my phone.

Morning up in the world, Sam. I sighed, setting my bags down on the bed. Guess I should unpack.

I started with the duffle bag, pulling out my clothes – a bunch of t-shirts featuring various bands and anime, faded and ripped jeans, some basketball shorts and my favorite hoodie celebrating my favorite video creator’s climb to seventy-million subscribers. I had folded them as best as I could when putting them in the bag, but I had never been good at folding clothes, no matter how many times my mom showed me.

The rest of the bag was various hygiene products – toothbrush, deodorant, pads, etc. My bookbag, on the other hand, held the more important items – my laptop, mp3 player, three of my favorite books, and the box set of my favorite anime, The Kings of Tennis. I wanted to bring my gaming system, but it wouldn’t fit in the back. Mom promised to send it in the mail, but… I don’t know if that would work or if she actually planned to do it.

I set all of them on the desk and glanced out the window. It seemed like a nice and quiet neighborhood, and the weather had been nice when I stepped out of the car. I decided to grab one of my books and sit on the porch to read for a bit. Before that, though, I’m going to explore the house a bit.

Facing the entryway, I checked the room on the right – it was the bathroom. On the left was Kevin’s bedroom. On the left of the entryway was the living room, which connected to the porch. The kitchen was also connected to the living room. Overall, it was a small house but it was warm and comfortable.

I slid the glass door open and stepped outside. The wood creaked as I put my weight on it, settling on the ground with my legs crossed. A gentle breeze ruffled my hair. My new life… was this a chance to change? _Could_ I change? Will I be the same over-sensitive mess that I’ve always been, just in a different country?

With a sigh, I let my head fall back against the house, staring up at the bright blue sky and the soft white clouds that occasionally rolled past.

Man, I feel so tired. I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute…

* * *

“…am? Sam? Hey, wake up.”

My eyes fluttered open, blinking away the sleep. The sun was low on the horizon, hidden behind a grouping of clouds.

“Good afternoon, sunshine.”

I glanced over, seeing Kevin squatting beside me. Crap, guess I fell asleep. I sat up and winced, feeling a crick in my neck.

“Not the best place to sleep,” he commented with a smile, holding out his hand as he stood up. I took it and he easily brought me to my feet. In his hand was a brown bag. “I brought some cheeseburgers,”

The thought of food made my mouth water and my stomach hurt. I hadn’t even since the day before my flight – when my anxiety is really high, it messes up my stomach so I try to avoid eating if I know I’m going to be in a high-stress situation.

I followed him into the living room, sliding the door closed behind me and stifling a yawn. I plopped onto the floor in front of the low table that sat in the middle of the room. He sat the back down, taking out two cheeseburgers for each of us before stepping into the kitchen to grab a couple cans of soda. I didn’t hesitate to unwrap it and stuff my face – manners had never been my strong suit, either.

We sat in a comfortable silence until we finished eating.

“Thank you for the food,” I mumbled, softly.

“You’re welcome,” he paused for a moment as if searching for the right words. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

The words brought fear to my heart. The last time someone had said that to me, I was shipped off across the globe because my mom didn’t want me anymore. Was he regretting his decision already? I closed my eyes tightly, feeling my heart beating painfully in my chest. I mentally prepared myself for what might come.

“I know you dropped out just before high school because of your condition, but… I feel strongly that continuing your education and going to high school will help you out in the long run. I could be like… a second chance for you.”

A second chance? Did I even deserve such a thing? Of course, dropping out had been my biggest regret in life so far, but I had always been ruled by fear and doubt, so I never once considered the possibility of going back. But now… a second chance to be a _normal_ teenager?

“I’m old friends with the principal of Kaimei high. I’ve already talked to him about your situation and he’s okay with you enrolling. You’d have to take a placement test to make sure you can keep up with the other second years.” He was quiet for a moment, and I could feel his eyes on me as he spoke, softer this time. “What are you thinking?”

“I… I’m scared,” I admitted, clenching my hands around my jeans.

“Do you regret leaving school, Sammy?”

I don’t know if it was the warmth in his voice or the nickname he had used, but I looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time. It was like looking into my own eyes in the mirror.

“Sorry, are you okay with me calling you Sammy?”

“I-I don’t mind. And… yes, I regret it…”

“I won’t say it’s going to be easy. High school rarely is, but in my opinion, I think it’s an important time in our lives. I believe the regret of not going will be much worse than the regret you might feel from taking this chance. It’s something you need to decide for yourself, though.” He patted my shoulder as he stood, cleaning up the mess from our meal.

I knew he was right, but I felt so much fear gripping my heart. Would I be smart enough to enter my second year of high school and keep up with the other students? All eyes would be on me for transferring as a second-year… would I be bullied? Oh god, if I had a panic attack in class, all eyes would be on me. They’d think I’m a freak or a weirdo!

“Sammy,”

I glanced up at Kevin as he stood in the doorway toward the hall.

“Don’t let your anxiety make your choices for you,” he smiled encouragingly before heading for his room.

My whole life, my anxiety had ruled over me. I was just a scared child doing whatever it told me to without question. I believed it when it said I was in danger. I believed it when it called me worthless and weird. I never questioned it. I never went against it.

I’m not a strong person. I’m super sensitive and cry easily. I take everything to heart. How could I ever go against such a strong force? But at the same time… I want to go to school. I want to experience high school like a normal teenager.

I just want to be normal.

* * *


	4. A New Determination

* * *

That night, I tossed and turned, unable to grasp sleep for more than ten minutes as a time. Kevin’s words kept repeating in my mind like a ghostly echo. Being in a foreign bed, in a foreign country certainly didn’t help, either. So much had happened in such a short span of time and my body wasn’t handling it well. I wanted to go back to Florida. I wanted the comfort of my eight-year-old mattress and the cheetah print comforter my grandma had given me for my twelfth birthday. I wanted my room, with its dark walls covered in anime posters and random things I thought were cool at the time.

More than anything, I wanted security.

I rolled over onto my side. The red digits on the clock shined through the darkness like angry eyes. It’s only two in the morning? It felt like I had been lying here for ages. My gaze moved to the window. The tan shade had been pulled down, covering all but a small portion of the glass at the bottom. From this angle, I could just make out the darkness outside.

I forced my eyes closed. I needed sleep. Without it, my anxiety would be even more out of control.

It felt like I was lying there for hours with my eyes closed, but I refused to open them, I refused to move. If my body wouldn’t co-operate, then I would force it to sleep.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open but quickly closed at the bright light shining directly on them. Shit, why is the sun so friggin’ bright? I forced myself into a sitting position, glaring at the small stream of sunlight filtering through the uncovered section of window. Man, I really hate the sun. I glanced at the clock, taking in the numbers that glared at me. Seven-thirty… I guess five or six hours isn’t too bad.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the carpet soft against my bare feet. I stretched my arms above my head, stifling a yawn as I headed for the bathroom down the hall.

I tried to ignore the mirror on my left but it was huge and I found my eyes snapping to it like a magnet. My hair, as black a raven’s feathers, was sticking up in all directions and looked greasy even though I had taken a shower before bed. I briefly wondered if I had sleep-walked my finger into a light socket. There were bags under my eyes, a combination of stress and fitful sleep, my green eyes dull and tired.

I pinched my cheeks, tugging them away from my face before releasing. My face is round and chubby, like a soccer ball. My nose is big, my eyebrows are bushy. I glanced down at my body, poking my stomach that had the quality of jello. Most Japanese high schoolers are thin and pretty, aren’t they?

I hung my head, turning the water on as I washed my face. I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb in class.

My eyes widened. W-Wait a minute… I’m talking like I’m going back to school… had I made up my mind without even realizing it? I looked back at the mirror, surprised to see the determination in my eyes. I gripped the edge of the sink, my mind made up. I wouldn’t let this chance slip by me!

When I stepped out of the bathroom, the smell of eggs and bacon reached my nose, making my stomach whine. Kevin was at the kitchen sink washing the dishes. Two plates of scrambled eggs, bacon, rice, and toast were sitting on the living room table, covered by plastic wrap to keep them warm.

“Good morning…” I said softly.

He smiled over his shoulder at me, turning the water off and drying his hands on the dishtowel perched on his shoulder. “Morning, Sammy. Did you sleep okay?”

Not at all, but I didn’t want to tell him that, so I just nodded. He motioned for me to take a seat before pouring out two glasses of orange juice and setting them on the table before sitting to my left.

“Were you… waiting on me?” I questioned.

“Of course! A family should always eat together!” He smiled, sticking his index finger in the air.

Together? My brow furrowed as I carefully unpeeled the plastic wrap from the plate. I couldn’t remember a time when mom and I had eaten together. Rarely did we cook our own food because she was always busy and I couldn’t be trusted not to burn down the house, so we usually just ate TV dinners or canned food. Occasionally she’d bring home some fast food, but we usually took it and went to our own rooms. There were no set meal times – we just ate whenever we felt hungry.

When was the last time either of us had even _sat_ at the kitchen table?

I glanced at Kevin, who clapped his hands in front of him (“Itadakimasu!”) before digging into the food. Judging from his joyous expression, he really loved food, both cooking and eating it.

He noticed my gaze and frowned, lowering his plate. “Do you not like eggs? Alissa didn’t say anything about food preferences. I should have asked, but I was a bit… blown away at the time.”

“Ah, no… no, sorry.” I bowed my head and took a spoonful of eggs into my mouth. W-What is this… I’ve never tasted eggs that tasted this incredible before. I didn’t even know eggs could be this good, I didn’t know that someone could change the flavor of eggs so drastically. Without hesitation, I began to shovel the rest of the food into my mouth.

Kevin laughed and I froze. The flavor of the food had made me forget he was there. God, I must look like a pig. “I’m glad you enjoy my cooking. It’s something I’ve always prided myself on.” He took a long gulp of the juice before setting it back down, his hand lingering on the glass. “I was really worried about it. Alissa let me walk into this completely blind. She didn’t tell me what food you like or dislike, she didn’t mention any allergies either. It’s pretty important, so I assumed you didn’t have any, but I chose eggs because the likely hood of being allergic to those is very low.”

I lowered my spoon as I glanced at him. I thought I had been the only one that was going mad with worry about this situation, not wanting to step on his toes or burden him, but… he had been worrying about it, too, he just hid it better than I did. We’re complete strangers living under the same roof… we’re on the same playing field.

“I… I don’t mind eggs,” I mumbled, shifting slightly. “I… I hate onions, but onion powder doesn’t bother me. I can eat onion rings, though… mom always said that was weird.”

“The cheeseburgers last night had onions on them.” He stated, softly. “But you ate them because you didn’t want to upset me.”

I nodded, taking the last spoonful of eggs.

“Well, no more of that. I want you to feel comfortable being honest with me, no matter what it is, and I’ll do the same to you. Is that a deal?”

I chewed, thoughtfully for a moment. “So… If I become… _too much_ for you, you’ll tell me… right?”

Kevin smiled softly, resting his hand on my arm. “You will never become ‘too much’ for me. Did you know I’ve always wanted a child? But I wanted to wait until I was financially stable and had gotten married. That way, my kid would grow up with two loving parents in a stable home. I didn’t want my child to grow up in a broken home like I did.” He paused, his thumb rubbing over my skin. “I’m not sure what came over me that night, the night I met your mom. Maybe it was the way she carried herself, the confidence she exuded.”

I studied his face as multiple emotions flickered through his eyes as he recalled the memory of that night.

“She was flirting with me all night and showed a genuine interest in me and my life. At one point, she even told me that she could picture us getting married and having a family.”

I held back a scoff at that comment. One thing my mom would never allow was for her to be tied down to a man. She loved the attention, but she refused to be in a relationship. There were always men asking her out, asking for her hand, but she always turned them down. To be honest, I’m surprised she kept me. I briefly wondered if she had _tried_ to get rid of me but failed. I didn’t linger on that thought.

“I was a bit tipsy and completely smitten… After that night, I didn’t see her again, but we kept in contact over the phone. I tried to meet up with her several times, but she always had some excuse as to why she couldn’t see me. Eventually, I gave up on thinking we could have something, but I couldn’t bring myself to completely cut her out.” His eyes met mine and I saw the warmth and sadness in their depths. “I’m glad I didn’t because I might not have met you.”

My eyes widened as tears began to well up in his eyes.

“To think that I had a beautiful daughter all this time. I… I missed your first steps, your first words. I wasn’t there to comfort you, to protect you, to let you know that you were loved and wanted.”

Tears fell down my cheeks, matching the tracks against his own.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most…”  
I don’t know what came over me, but my body acted on its own. I flung myself at him, clutching tightly onto his shirt like my life depended on the contact. I sobbed into his chest, his arms holding me close. Even though he was crying, too, he still comforted me, telling me it would be okay.

“I-I-It’s not your – your f-fault,” I sobbed.

His grip tightened. “I promise you, Samantha, I will make up for the lost time. I will protect and comfort you when you cry. I’ll be here for you, always and forever.”

“I-I promise that I will… I will change!” And in that moment, for the first time in my life, I felt confident that I _could_ change, that I _would_ change.

* * *

“You can do it tomorrow?” Kevin glanced at me and I nodded nervously. “Tomorrow works for us, thank you so much for this, Karamatsu-san. See you soon!” He hung up the phone and smiled at me. “Okay, he’s going to set up the placement test for you.”

I nodded again, feeling my chest growing cold as my anxiety started to grip my heart. Now that it had been finalized, I was beginning to have second thoughts. I wasn’t sure if I could do this. I wasn’t even that smart, there’s no way I could pass.

A warm hand rested on my shoulder and I met Kevin’s warm eyes. “Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. I believe in you, now you just have to believe in yourself.”

Believing in myself was a subject I most definitely failed at, but… I didn’t want to let Kevin down. He had done so much for me in the short time I had known him, and he was so happy to have me in his life despite the trouble that I bring. I… I want to make him proud.

“I… I’m going to go study!” I announced, jumping up and heading to my room. I sat at my desk, opening my laptop, but I could only stare at the text entry field on the browser. What the hell am I supposed to search for? I typed in ‘placement test’ and got a bunch of results for college so I added ‘high school’ to the end. Several practice quizzes came up.

I clicked on the first one. Let’s see how bad this goes…

After about twenty minutes, fifteen questions and a bad headache, I finished the online test. I hovered the mouse over the results button but hesitated. What if I got them all wrong? No, I’m not a complete idiot, I had to have done decent… right?

I clicked the button and the results came up. Eight right and seven wrong. I winced at those numbers. Most of the questions I had gotten wrong had been math questions – my worst subject. I would be able to pass the test with this? I guess… even if I fail it’s not the worst thing in the world. I’ll still be allowed in as a first-year.

With a sigh, I grabbed a notebook from the drawer and began to search for free online study materials. I didn’t have much time, but I was determined to learn at least _something_ before tomorrow.

* * *


	5. A Test of Courage

* * *

Kaimei high school was a ten-minute walk from the house. Kevin insisted on taking me, but I didn’t want him to miss work so I managed to convince him I’d be fine. In truth, I was far from fine. Every step I took seemed to grow heavier as my heart hammered against my chest. The crude map he had drawn for me was clenched tightly in my hand as I walked down the street.

When I reached the gate leading to the school, I paused to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, the cool spring air filling my lungs. When I opened them, I took a moment to appreciate the cherry trees on either side of the gate. They were beautiful and had a calming effect on me. It was kind of ironic – I hate the color pink, but I also think cherry trees are one of the most beautiful things in nature.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I slipped it out. It was a message from Kevin.

_‘Did you find the school okay?’_

I nodded, but realized that was stupid since he couldn’t see it and quickly typed a reply, _‘I just arrived. I’m going in now.’_

Taking another deep breath, I slid my phone back into my pocket and entered the school. I had been worried that I would get lost looking for the office, but I found it fairly easily and slid the door open. Several pairs of eyes looked up at me and I froze. This wasn’t like the office buildings back in America. Back home, the office door led to a desk clerk or secretary. Behind that person would be a couple different offices, including the principal.

But it was different here. The office was one room, in the center of which were a bunch of desks pushed together. There was a desk at the front of the room, and I assumed that had to be the principal’s desk but he wasn’t there. Shit, what do I do? I was supposed to come to the office, wasn’t I? Everyone is looking at me. Is it too late to run away?

My breathing was getting heavy and I felt a panic attack coming on as I slowly backed up, right into someone. I felt warm hands grip my shoulders

“Woah there. Are you okay?”

I didn’t want to look over my shoulder. It was obviously a guy if the voice was anything to go by. I lowered my head, feeling my cheeks burn. This was a mistake. I can’t do this.

“Would you happen to be Reynolds, Samantha?” He questioned.

I nodded, staring down at my sneakers.

“Perfect, I was just coming to look for you! If you follow me, I’ll take you to the room where you’ll be taking your test.”

I nodded again, not trusting my voice. My eyes felt moist, but I refused to cry. I couldn’t. Not in front of this guy I’ve never met before, not in this strange school. The thought of drawing that much attention to myself kept me grounded enough to keep it together, but just barely.

“My name is Agata, Soujirou, I’m the student council president.” He said, stopping in front of a door and sliding it open. “Here we are,”

I glanced up. There were two tables pushed against one another in the center of the room, with books and pens and an assortment of other items placed on top. Two chairs were placed on either side. A desk sat at the front of the room, which he moved to sit in.

“This is the student council room,” he explained, stifling a yawn as he leaned back in his chair. “The others are in class right now. Go ahead and take a seat.”

With a gulp, I took the first seat at the table. Several sheets of paper had been stapled together, waiting to be filled out. ‘Kaimei High Placement Test’ had been written in bold lettering across the top. I glanced at the boy as he relaxed in the chair, hands behind his head and eyes closed.

He seemed to stand at around five-ten, with black messy hair. The top buttons of his school shirt were undone and his tie was loose, his clothes wrinkled. Was he really the student council president? I had followed him without question. I bit my lip, weighing my options.

His brown eyes slid opened, meeting my own and he tilted his head. “Something wrong?”

I quickly looked away, cursing myself for getting caught staring. I picked up the pencil with a shaking hand, taking a few deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Gotta stay calm. I can do this. First, I gotta fill in my name. I wrote my first name and then paused. The Japanese write it last name first, I should do that. I erased it and wrote my last name, then paused again. Wait wait, I don’t know the kanji for my name! Crap, I’m filling out my name and I’m already losing it? You’re a goddamn mess, Sam!

Agata hummed thoughtfully as he stood up and approached me.

I tensed up, my hand tightening around the pencil.

He tugged it from my hand with a chuckle, letting his tongue touch the tip before he pulled the paper toward him. “Let’s see. Reynolds, Samantha, ne? That would be…” He wrote my name in Kanji. “There,”

“T-Thank you,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the paper as he slid it back to me. I heard him sit back down in his chair, but I didn’t want to look in case he was watching me. My eyes scanned his messy handwriting, trying to memorize the characters for my name. He must think I’m so stupid, not even able to write my own name.

Running a hand through my hair, I added the date and started on question one. The room was so quiet I could hear my breathing and his own. My ears were ringing, but I forced myself to make due. I couldn’t handle quiet environments well. For whatever reason, my anxiety didn’t like it, so I always had to have some sort of background or white noise. It made it hard for me to concentrate, but I did my best to ignore it.

The bell rang, a shrill sound that echoed throughout the school. I could hear footsteps as students crowded the halls, their chatter making my body start to shake. I glanced at the clock. It was already lunchtime? I swallowed hard, closing my eyes. It’s okay. I only have one more page and I can go home. You’ve gotten this far, Sam, don’t chicken out now!

My hand shook, but I did my best to keep my handwriting neat and readable. I wanted to breeze through the last page, but my brain was having a meltdown. I tried reading the paragraph but found myself reading it ten times and still not knowing what it said. I could only focus on the dozens of students that were passing the door outside.

The door slammed open and I jumped, hitting my knee on the desk. I bit my lip hard, squeezing the pencil until the wood started to crack. My eyes were closed tightly, trying to keep back tears.

“President! I have some detention slips for you to look over.” It was a boy. I could hear him walk behind me as he approached Agata.

I couldn’t stop shaking. How bad I wanted to hop up and run from the room, but my body wasn’t listening to me. It was going into flight or fight mode, but neither option seemed to appease it. I was too scared to flee and too scared to fight against the fear. I bit my lip harder, feeling the skin split. The pain helped relieve some of the pressure I felt.

“Huh? What’s wrong with you? Why are you shaking?” The new voice asked, his voice clipped.

I lowered my head, shaking it back and forth. I hoped he got the hint because I was sure if I saw his face or tried to speak, I would break down.

“Oi, didn’t you hear me?” He was getting closer.

Agata cleared his throat and the chair squeaked as he stood up. “I’m approving all of these, Tsubaki. I heard there were a few students that like to hang out around the back of the school smoking during lunch. Can you investigate that?”

“What?” The second boy, ‘Tsubaki’, snapped angrily. “Leave it to me, president!” He ran out of the room, slamming it closed behind him.

I felt a warm hand on my head.

“Sorry about that. Tsubaki can be a bit over the top sometimes, kekeke.”

What a strange laugh.

“Principal Karamatsu told me about your problem, so don’t worry. Take your time to calm down.” He spoke, softly, ruffling my hair.

The door opened again, softer this time. “Oh, is this the new student?”

“Yeah, this is her. Shinba, can you make sure no one else comes in until this test is finished?”

“Of course! I look forward to getting to know you better.” This new boy’s tone sounded flirty but kind. The door slid closed once again.

Agata sighed. “Maybe it would have been better to do this on the weekend. Are you almost done?”

I used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe away my tears and nodded, shakily reaching for the pencil. I realized I had broken it. “I-I’m s-sorry…”

“Don’t mind it,” he set a fresh pencil on the paper before picking up the broken one and throwing it in the trash. “It’s just a pencil, we have plenty of those kekeke.”

I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to run away and hide under my covers until I died. Even if I rushed through and finished the test, all of the students were out of class for lunch and I really didn’t want to go through them. I didn’t want to be seen by anyone. I carefully read over the paragraph for the eleventh time, finally understanding what it was trying to tell me.

My handwriting had gotten messier and I cursed, erasing it and trying to re-write the answer. It was just as messy. I ran my hand through my hair again, chewing on the split in my lip. The taste of metal rested on my tongue. Why did I always have to fall apart like this? Even if I pass this test with flying colors, there’s no way in hell I can survive two years of this.

Tears filled my eyes again and I sniffed, angrily wiping them away. I was a fool to think I could change, to think I was strong enough to change.

“You’re too hard on yourself,”

My head snapped up, teary eyes meeting his. His expression was serious as he watched me, his chin resting on his intertwined fingers. What, was he a damn mind reader or something? That thought terrified me. My mind is not something anyone should have to see.

“Don’t push yourself so hard. Just be yourself and try not to worry so much.”

I glanced down at the paper and scoffed.

“I know, I know, it’s harder than it sounds.” He shifted, sitting back in his chair. “But I have faith that you can do it.”

I wanted to question him but his genuine expression stopped the words before I could say them. He didn’t know me. He just met me for the first time in his life and he saw me have a mini-breakdown because some loud kid came into the room and asked me a question. How in the hell could he possibly have more confidence in myself than I do? I frowned at the paper.

Just one more question left. One more question and I could go home. The problem is that it was a math question and I had no idea what the answer was.

‘Simplify the expression: 12(3 + x) – 4(5x – 6)’,

The hell did I just read. I groaned, holding my head between my hands. What the hell does that even mean? They never taught me this shit in school. Granted, I did drop out in middle school, and the school I went to was rated a D by the school board. To be honest, I didn’t really understand any of the math questions and I won’t lie and say I didn’t guess on most of them.

“Not good at math, huh?”

I jumped, nearly falling out of the chair. When the hell had he walked back over here?

“Kekeke, sorry.” He grinned. “The answer is C, by the way.”

My brow furrowed. Why is he giving me the answer? That doesn’t seem like something a student council president would do. Is he testing me to see if I’ll take the answer? Will I be failed if I accept it? Is it even the right answer?

The bell rang again, signaling the end of lunch.

I glanced at the door just as it slid open, brown eyes meeting mine. The boy smiled, tilting his head, light brown hair shifting with the motion.

“I’m heading back to class. Unless you need me to stay?”

“We should be done here, thanks Shinba.”

“Of course,” he winked at me before closing the door. He seemed nice enough, but I didn’t think I’d get on well with him. He seemed like the type of guy that would flirt with anything that had a pulse. Was he a stereotypical playboy you see in romance anime that jumps from girl to girl?

I shook my head, realizing that Agata was probably waiting on me. I apologized softly before circling the third option and sliding the test toward him.

He picked it up, smacking it with the back of his hand. “I’ll take this to the principal so he can look over it. You can stay here to calm down for a bit if you want.” He paused at the door, offering me a smile. “Or I can walk you to the gate?”

I quickly shook my head. “N-No. I’m okay, t-thank you.”

He waved, closing the door behind him.

I sunk down in my seat with a sigh, looking up at the fluorescent light in the ceiling. Who knew taking a single test could take such a toll on the body. I felt like I had just run a marathon. I checked my phone and sweatdropped. Kevin had left fifteen messages…

They basically all said the same thing, just in different ways.

 _‘I hope the test is going well,’_ It didn’t, but thanks.

 _‘Stay calm, you can do this!’_ I didn’t stay calm, but I did it at least.

 _‘I believe in you,’_ You, too? Come on.

 _‘I’m so proud of you, this is a big step!’_ My cheeks burned at the thought of someone being proud of me.

_‘What would you like for dinner? I’ll make whatever you want!’_

That one made me remember that I had skipped breakfast. I stared at the message for a minute. Do they carry ingredients for spaghetti here? It wasn’t my favorite food, but it was a comfort food that reminded me of home. When I was younger, my grandma would always make a huge pot of spaghetti because it lasted us a week. It saved money and time. Back then, I didn’t feel near as much fear as I do now, so it had always been a comfort for me when I eat it.

 _‘Spaghetti?’_ , I replied.

The dots indicating that he was typing popped up. _‘Haven’t had that in forever! I’ll go to the store on the way home.’_ Another message. _‘Are you okay?’_

My fingers hovered over the keyboard as I hesitated. Should I tell him what happened? No, he’ll just worry! I typed out my reply, telling him that everything was fine and that the test had gone well, but my finger hesitated over the send button.

 _“Well, no more of that. I want you to feel comfortable being honest with me, no matter what it is, and I’ll do the same to you. Is that a deal?”_ His words echoed in my mind and I groaned.

I erased the message, replacing it with a different one. _‘Can I tell you when you get home?’_

_‘Of course, you can! Gotta get back to work, if you need me, call me ^_^’_

Was it normal for parents to use those kinds of emojis? I guess it could have been worse. He coulda used a Lenny face or sent a meme.

With a sigh, I pushed myself up, taking a couple careful steps. My legs were shaky from nerves, but there shouldn’t be a problem – they rarely ever gave out on me. I hesitantly pulled the door open, glancing back and forth. The hallway was deserted. The problem was that I had no idea how to get back to the front of the school. When I was following Agata, I had been too nervous to pay attention to anything but the floor.

Maybe I should have taken him up on his offer… With a sigh, I started walking down the hall, hoping my feet would find their own way. I glanced outside at the cherry trees, their petals being carried on the wind. It was beautiful and, for a moment, I just stood there watching them dance.

“Hey, what are you doing out of class?!”

That voice… oh no.

“Get back to class right this ins – Oh, it’s you.” Tsubaki came to a stop beside me. “Why are you loitering in the halls? If you want a tour of the school, it can wait until your first day.”

I lowered my head, chewing on my lip. Should I tell him I’m lost? He’s going to think I’m such an idiot. But if I just apologize and walk away, he could find me wandering the halls again and get even angrier. If god exists, he definitely hates me.

“S-Sorry,” I muttered.

“What was that? Speak up, new student.”

Tears were springing to my eyes again and I cursed. I should just jump out of the window. That’d probably be less embarrassing than breaking down in front of this guy for the second time. Though I hoped he didn’t realize what was happening the first time. He probably thought I was rude for not answering him.

“What is with you?” he muttered, grabbing my shoulder to make me look in his direction. He raised his voice. “Speak up so I can hear yo – w-why are you crying?!”

The tears fell from my eyes on their own, falling down my cheeks. I could feel my body starting to shake as ice settled in on my chest.

“Crap, what do I do?!” He started to freak out, leaning down so he could see my face. “Come on, don’t cry!”

I was taken back by how beautiful his eyes were. They were the color of amber in the sunlight, framed by long lashes. They were mesmerizing, I didn’t want to look away. What the hell. Is this guy a witch or something?

I tore my gaze away, taking a step back as I furiously wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. I bowed as low as my body would allow, stuttering out an apology before I took off down the hall. Of course, with my weight and lack of athletic ability, I couldn’t run away like I wanted and it ended up to be more of a speed walk. He didn’t follow.

I managed to find the exit and rushed out of the building, not stopping to admire the beautiful trees that I loved so much.

* * *


End file.
